Voices Unheard
Author’s Note :
Hello, my name is Jacob Sinai and I scripted an original performance for an event called Original Prose and Poetry. The performance follows the grieving process of a man named Alan Miller, whose son committed suicide due to academic pressure and stress. With this performance, I was able to place fourth in the TCFL (Tri-County Forensics League) Speech State Qualifier. Suicide is a more prevalent issue than most people think it is and hopefully this piece can help to spread awareness about this issue and help to create change to better the mental health of teenagers in the United States.
Scene 1 (Opening Scene Speaking to School Assembly):
Allan Miller: *He walks on, adjusts the microphone and takes a deep breath* “Good morning. I’d like to start off by thanking Principal Schmidt for allowing me to speak here today. My name is Allan Miller, but most of you know me as Logan’s dad. As you know, three months ago, my son Logan overdosed on sedatives and took his own life. To most of you, Logan was a friend, a teammate, a peer, but to me, he was my everything. He was my only son, my baseball partner, my sing a long in the car buddy, my sous chef, my sports betting advisor, but most of all he was my best friend. You know it’s funny, they say the first thing that goes through a parent’s mind when a child dies is a rush of emotions. But the moment I heard that my son was dead, the first thing that came to mind was nothing. I was in disbelief, in shock, deafened.”
Scene 2 (Alan Finding Out About the Death of Logan):
Officer: (knocks on door three times)
Mr. Miller: (opens the door) “H-Hello?”
Officer: “Hello sir, are you the father of Logan Miller?”
Mr. Miller: “Yes, is Logan in trouble?”
Officer: “Mr. Miller, I- I don’t know how to say this, *looks at the ground to stall a little* but early this morning, two of our officers were patrolling the area, and they discovered Logan's car in the parking lot of a local park. They initially thought that he was asleep, but eventually they discovered Logan unconscious in his car with no pulse.”
Mr. Miller: (Gazes into space in shock and horror)
Scene 3 (Introduction):
Jacob Sinai: “In 2021, according to the Youth Behavioral Risk Factor Surveillance System, 22% of all high school students have seriously contemplated committing suicide. And of that 22%, 13.6% of them have ended their lives. Of those lost teenagers, the main cause of their suicide was directly related to academic stress. In today’s world, high schools all over the nation are turning a blind eye to this extremely consequential problem, and diffusing all sense of responsibility. But that needs to change. “Voices Unheard” An original by Jacob Sinai.”
Scene 4 (Alan Continues Speaking to Students):
Alan Miller: *subtly touches microphone* “The weeks following the death of my son, I was broken. A shattered plate trying to glue itself back together, but it was too fractured. I felt empty, alone, endlessly falling into the dark abyss of my own grief. My son was gone, and there was nothing I could do about it. I was expected to grieve and move on, but I couldn’t. I mean, how was I supposed to go on living when one of the biggest parts of my life was taken away from me at only 16 years old. You know, part of me wishes that he would’ve left in a different way. Maybe a car accident, or a deadly disease, but this way, I felt responsible. I mean, what kind of dad can’t even recognize his own son's suffering? He was in so much pain that he killed himself, and I didn’t even know it, that’s the worst part. For weeks it was all I could think about, all I could dream about, I became obsessed. The thoughts began to eat away at me. I needed help, but I never asked for it.” *zones out*
Scene 5 (Washing Dishes Scene):
Alan Miller: *Has a flashback to when he was doing the dishes*
*Washes dishes but runs out of dish soap*
*Frantically begins to search through cabinets for more soap, but can’t find any*
*Has a panic attack and breaks down*
*Cries and mutters to himself*
*Consoling himself desperately* “I’m fine… I’m fine. I’m okay. I’m okay. I’m going to be okay.”
Scene 6 (Alan Speaks to Students and Introduces Logan’s Suicide Letter):
*catches breath and retouches the microphone*
Alan Miller: “I was lost in an endless tunnel of darkness, yet I could begin to find the small openings of light. I was stuck in a paradox. The emptiness, the grief, it consumed me, but yet, I was able to find comfort in his final words, his suicide letter. One in which I could find light whenever I read it. It was as if he was still there, speaking to me, comforting me, ensuring that I’d be okay. And hopefully, I can help to shine some of that light on you. “
*pulls and unfolds note out of his pocket*
Alan Miller: “Dear Dad, Mom, Lily, and whoever else reads this,
If you are reading this letter, my heart has stopped beating, my lungs no longer breathe air into my body, my blood no longer flows, I am dead.”
Scene 7 (Logan Reads His Own Letter):
*Logan (the son) begins to voice over his letter to the audience*
Logan Miller: “This really was not something I wanted to do, but it is something I had to do. The expectations that are burdened on kids to do good and succeed is so high, but most kids make mistakes. One slip up makes a kid feel like the smallest person in the world. So much pressure was constantly being put on me to do well in school that I couldn’t take it anymore. It was inescapable. I tried to get help. I tried to meet with teachers, the school counselor, even my dean, but it didn’t help. I was being tortured, and nothing I could do could stop that. But I wasn’t okay with that. It needed to stop. I needed a solution. I needed a break. I needed silence. I needed the world to stop spinning for one fucking second. You may not understand it, and I’m not asking you to, I’m just telling you why I had to. There used to be days where I thought that I was going to be okay. I’d be hanging out somewhere and everything would just fit right and I would think it’ll be okay if things can just stay like this forever' but of course nothing can ever stay how it is forever. And before I knew it, those suicidal thoughts came back and engulfed me. I was continuously stressed and anxious, assignment after assignment, exam after exam, with no time to come up for a breath, it would never end. It’s never going to end. You work hard, you go to college, you get a job, it never stops. It just keeps going and going and going and going and going and going, and I cant go anymore. I just can’t. I don’t want this life for me. I want it to be over. Dad, I don’t want you to blame yourself, you were truly the most supporting person I could ever ask for, but it was too much. I may not be here to speak up for those who have already passed, but I want this letter to speak up for those “UNHEARD VOICES”. Nobody can possibly understand what someone may be going through. Nobody could understand me.
Thank you for all of the memories.
*Character switch to Alan Miller reading the letter*
Alan Miller: “Logan”
Scene 8 (Alan’s Closing Motivational Speech):
*Takes a deep breath*
Alan Miller: “It isn’t easy for me to be here today, so why am I here? Why did I decide to come here today and share all of this with you guys? I feel as though I have an obligation to my son. An obligation to advocate for those who are no longer able to advocate for themselves. It is okay to not be okay. And I learned that the hard way. I just wish Logan would’ve known that. I wish I could go back and tell him that things would be okay. That he could get through this. But it’s too late. So maybe I can try to prevent what happened to my son from happening to you. Your mental health matters. It matters more than school. It matters more than college. It matters more than anything. Don’t make school your everything. Because I already lost my everything and it is unbearable. Seeking help and talking about your struggles is not a sign of weakness. It takes strength and courage to open up about your mental health. Whether it's through talking to a friend or a family member, or even a professional, there is help available. If you're struggling with your mental health, know that you're not alone. There are people who care about you and want to help. Don't wait until it's too late. Thank you.”
